Monthly Archives: January 2015



Are you making a cover band and having a hard time naming it? Just use this chart. The name on the left is the band you are covering and the right is what you should name your band. It is so simple!!!!! You’re welcome!!!!!!!!

*Some bands are on here 2 times

Kiss= Cuds
Salt n Pepa = Oregano and Basil
Rolling Stones = Stationary Rocks
Johnny Cash = Johnny Change
The Beatles = Hard Shell Bugs
Iron Maiden = Iron Milf
Nirvana = The bitch from Hole killed Kurt
The Wallflowers = Ceiling Plants
The Eagles = The Cowboys
Sam Cooke = Sam Bake
N.W.A = N.W.W.A (N-word with Attitude)
Backstreet Boys = N Sync
Weezer = Breathing Fine
Red Hot Chili Peppers = Ice Cold Banana Peppers
50 Cent = 1 Quarter,2 Dimes and a Nickel
Maroon 5 = Shit Music
Nickelback = Dimestomach
Spice Girls = Sauce Chicks
Van Halen = Overrated
Vanilla Ice = Chocolate Heat
Flo Rida = Louis Iana
One Direction = Dead End
“Weird Al” Yankovic = “Odd Allen” Pullovic
Fun = Please Stop Playing On The Radio
Jimmy Eat World = James Ate Earth
Eminem = Skittle
Insane Clown Posse =  Perfectly Sane Funny People Gang
Train = Planes and Automobiles
Milli Vanilli = Bullshit!
2 Chainz = 3 Ropez
Alicia Keys = Alicia Locks
Rod Stewart = Metal Pole Stewart
Kid Rock = I Suck At 3 Types Of Music
P!nk = Wh!te
Led Zeppelin = Lead Hindenburg
Carrie Underwood = Karrie Oversteel
Pitbull = Pitcow
The Weekend = 3 Day Weekend
Eric Church =  Eric Mosque
Whitney Houston = Dead
Aerosmith = Arrowsmith
The Killers = The Healers
Susan Boyle = Fat Bitch
Green Day = Red Week
Rage Against The Machine = Relax Against The Robot
The Black Keys = The Urban Buttons
No Doubt = I am not 100% Sure
Bruno Mars = Bo Saturn
3 Doors Down = 3 Windows Over
Carpenters = Jesus
Matchbox Twenty = Hot Wheels 30
Alabama = White Trash
Linkin Park = 1999
U2 = Me3
The Grateful Dead = The Ungrateful Living
The Police = The Band With Sting
Rush = Take Your Time
Genesis = Super Nintendo
The Beach Boys = The Sand Men
Soundgarden = Noisefield
The Who = ???????
Cream = Coffee
Guns ‘N Roses = Knifes ‘N Sunflowers
Pearl Jam = Ruby Peanut Butter
The Talking Heads = The Speaking Faces
Tool = We’re Tools
Journey = The Long Trip
Deep Purple = Shallow Blue
Living Colour = Fire Marshall Bill
Audioslave = Audio Free State
Sex Pistols = Fuck guns
The Roots = Reading Rainbow
Radiohead = Satellite Radiohead
The Cure = The Disease
Coldplay = Hotmovie
Black Eyed Peas = Lazy D.J
Kesha = A Musical Goddess


One Direction = Many Different Ways
Soul Asylum = Walkaway Train
Ray Charles = Booty Call
Seal = Fucked Up Face
Drake = Black Jew
Village People = Town Of Gays
Kottonmouth Kings = Drymouth Queens
Barry White = BBW (Big Black White)
Rage Against The Machine = Mad V.S The Robot
The Oak Ridge Boys = White Trash
Fastball = Curveball
Baha Men = We Let The Dogs Out
Bryan Adams = Forgive me
Barry Manilow = Music For Mandy
Tyga = Lie-In
Abba = Cadabra
Tina Turner = Thunderdome
Randy Newman = Woody’s Friend
Nicki Minaj = Star Ships For Hoes
Sisqo = Who? The Dude Who Had That Thong Song. Oh Yea Him
John Lennon = Face Target
Beach Boys = Bay Men
Meat Loaf = Hungry Man Dinner
Boyz 2 Men = Boyz 4 Men (*This could also be used for your Jerry Sandusky cover band)
Miley Cyrus = STD
Nas = Not Jay-Z
Ozzy Osbourne = ?????? (I don’t know what he’s saying)
Juicy J = Apple Drink J
Michael Bublé = Sinatra 2.0
The Wallflowers = The Floor Trees
Taylor Swift = Crazy ex
U2 = Me As Well
The Outfield = Love Users
Skrillex = LOUD NOISES
Run D.M.C = J.O.G
Elvis Presley = Died On A Toilet
Avril Lavigne = Good Charlotte’s #1 Fan
Sam Smith = The Only One
Machine Head = Robot Blowjob
No Doubt = For Sure
Stevie Wonder = 1 Blind Mouse
Culture Club = Bathhouse Club
Janis Ian = I Peaked At 17
George Strait = Mad Bitches In Texas
Sara Bareilles = I Pick You
Bon Jovi = Band Of Roses
Hoobastank = Hobosmell
The Rolling Stones = The Poor Man’s Beatles
Wiz Khalifa = I’m Dat Dude
Crash Test Dummies = Buckle Up
The Jackson 5 = A Famous Person and His Bros
NSYNC = J.T, A Gay Astronaut and 3 Other Guys
White Zombie = Black Walker
The Hives = Where Bees Live
Wheatus = Middle Age Dirt Bags
Bowling For Soup = Curling For Chili
Blue October = Red August
Blues Traveler = Going To A Blues Game #LGB
Nelly = There Is A Cut On My Face!
Celine Dion = Titanic
Katy Perry = Katy’s Pretty Big Tits
Chumbawamba = PLEASE GO AWAY!
Dope = Legalize It!
Bloodhound Gang = Golden Retriever Herd
Hanson = We Swear We’re Boys
Queen = We Also Swear We’re Boys
Soulja Boy = How Do You Spell Soldier
Cyndi Lauper = Women Just Want To Rest
David Bowie = Throw Some Bowies
Bangles = Sunday Funday
Will Smith = Seven Pounds Of Fresh Prince
Boston = Our Race Is The Bomb
MC Hammer = I Need Money
J-Kwon = Fake I.D
Sixpence None The Richer = Dawson’s Favorite Band
Whithey Houston = O.D
Kool And The Gang = Kool-Aid Guy and His Friends

I hope this helped you. Please comment below also check out the links



Follow Joshua on Twitter @TODAJETS

Follow Face The Music on Twitter @FACETHEMUSICSTL

Why Did They Make This?

Anyone can have a music album. No? Well how do you explain this list of trash?

David Hasselhoff
David Hasselhoff



Ryan Gosling
Ryan Gosling


Cory Feldman
Cory Feldman


Clint Eastwood
Clint Eastwood


Bruce Willis
Bruce Willis

Robert Downey JR
Robert Downey JR


Zooey Deschanel
Zooey Deschanel


Tony Danza
Tony Danza


Jeff Daniels
Jeff Daniels


Joe Pesci
Joe Pesci


Russell Crowe
Russell Crowe


Kevin Costner
Kevin Costner


The Olsen Twins
The Olsen Twins


Leonard Nimoy
Leonard Nimoy


Dudley Moore
Dudley Moore


Marilyn Monroe
Marilyn Monroe


Macho Man Randy Savage
Macho Man Randy Savage


Scarlett Johansson
Scarlett Johansson


Jennifer Love Hewitt
Jennifer Love Hewitt


Don Johnson
Don Johnson


Andy Griffith
Andy Griffith


Steven Seagal
Steven Seagal


Keanu Reeves
Keanu Reeves


Burt Reynolds
Burt Reynolds


Billy Bob Thornton
Billy Bob Thornton


Billy Bob Thornton
Billy Bob Thornton


Patrick Swayze
Patrick Swayze


William Shatner
William Shatner




Stephen Collins
Stephen Collins


Chris Burke
Chris Burke
Jeff Bridges
Jeff Bridges


Eddie Murphy
Eddie Murphy


Wayne Brady
Wayne Brady


Danny Bonaduce
Danny Bonaduce


Scott Baio
Scott Baio


Kevin Bacon
Kevin Bacon




Joshua’s Favorite Disney Songs

From The Lion King to Toy Story, Disney has a lot of great songs that we all know and love. Here is a list of my favorites. If you disagree……well you can go Hakuna Matata yourself.

You’ve Got A Friend In Me:
The thing that makes song so fun is Randy Newman’s voice. It makes you feel that you can also sing. Also I like this song cause it makes people think that Tom Hanks and Tim Allen are friends. There is no chance in hell that Mr.Gump is friends with Joe Somebody.
Bear Necessities:
Hey it’s the bear from Tail Spins! Bear Necessities is just one great song! I can really relate to it as well. Like I eat ants all the time. Looking back on this movie kind of makes me question the “friendship” between Blaoo and his boy slave but whatever a bear needs to do what a bears needs to do, I guess.
Hakuna Matata:
The best thing Billy Crystal has ever done! I can’t start to tell you how much this song helped me out in my life. Like that one time I hit someone with my car and took off. When the police told me that the woman died and asked me why I ran, I said “HAKUNA MATATA!”. We had a good laugh and I served 15 years in jail.
Heigh Ho:
The hardest working men in Disney. These 7 little people made a great song about their favorite way to say hello to Snow White.
Under The Sea:
“Listen to me. The human world, it’s a mess.” Sebastian is a great promoter. He made me want to live under the sea. Detroit should hire him, so that people would want to move there. They new slogan could be “Detroit is the bubbles!” and by bubbles I mean shit.
Let It Go:
I got to be honest if you. I have never saw Frozen or want to see it. However I got to say this song is f’n great! I don’t even know or care what the other lyrics are. I just wait until I can yell LET IT GOOOOOOOOO!. I’m 30 by the way.
A Whole New World:
Aladdin taking his bitch for a ride.  I wondered what Aladdin is up to now. He’s probably enjoying his life leading The ISIS
*Fun fact: Aladdin is voiced by D.J’s boyfriend from Full House.
Circle Of Life:
One more for The King! Circle Of Life is a great song but the title of the song doesn’t really match this video. I don’t think a monkey and a lion would ever be friends. I’m calling bullshit! It’s one of my favorite Elton John songs…….I don’t who in the hell this whore singing is.
When You Wish Upon A Star:
I’m a real boy! I never got into Pinocchio. The whole plot seems a bit off to me. We got some old dude making little boy sex dolls and then one of his wet dreams comes to life when one turns into a real boy? That’s sick! I guess it really doesn’t matter who you are when you wish upon a star. #Sandusky
Ugly Bug Ball:
Here’s a random one for you. Not even sure what’s this from but it’s great. I think Cee Lo Green should check out this ball. The dude looks like a ugly beetle.
I said "forget you"! You damn bug.
I said “forget you”! You damn bug.

Never Smile At a Crocodile:
Christopher Walken hates crocodiles!

A Goofy Movie’s soundtrack:
A Goofy Movie is probably one of the most underrated Disney movies ever. Not sure why. I mean it won like 87 Oscars! (Not sure about that number) here is 3 great songs. Eye to Eye, Stand Out and On The Open Road. Enjoy!

Bibbidi Bobbidi Boo:
You know listening to these songs back to back like this, make me realize that most of these songs just make up words. Walt Disney was just a poor man’s Dr. Seuss
The World Greatest Criminal Mind:
Love this song! The Great Mouse Detective only had 2 songs like this on it’s soundtrack. The other songs were just background music. But hey when you have such a classic like this who gives a shit about the other shit you have on your shity soundtrack.
*Fun Fact: The dude singing is Edward Scissorhands father.

Oogie Boogie Song:
I can’t even start to tell you how hard it was not to fill this list with Nightmare Before Christmas songs. So I just picked this one. I like Oogie Boogie…..still not sure what he is. Maybe a potato bag or something? Also is he some type of casino owner? But he sure can sing! The thing I like most about Nightmare is that it’s one of the few Tim Burton movies that doesn’t show his gay love he has for Johnny Depp
Well there you have it! Please keep in mind that this is called “Joshua’s Favorite Disney Songs” and not ” Some Random Asshole’s Favorite Disney Songs” so please don’t flip out if you don’t see one of your favorites on here but please comment below to tell me your list.

How To Properly

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Easy New Year’s Resolutions


Hello there! Welcome to 2015! The year of you. Like most people you probably made some type of resolution. Also like most people you probably will give-up on it by the 7th. Well worry no more! Here are some easy resolutions you can have this year. Your welcome!

I will take a shower at least once a month
I will drive by a gym every day on my way to KFC
I will not shoot anyone this year (Darren Wilson is using this one!)
I will buy all of Kesha’s albums
I will stop smoking but start smoking meth
I will only spend $4000 on porn this year
I will stop drinking…….on Tuesdays
I will get rid of my David Hasselhoff Pandora channel
He's huge!  *Huge in Germany
He’s huge!
*Huge in Germany
I will learn how to spell mispelled
I will promise not to punch that annoying neighbor in his stupid face. FUCK YOU TED!
I will buy a fish and not eat it this time
I will stop trying to use normal stamps to buy food
Yo, I will stop starting my sentences with yo
I will throw out all of my Limp Bizkit shirts
I will finally do a whole connected the dots all by myself
I always get lost after 14
I always get lost after 14
I will stop acting like I live in London and drive on the right ride
I will travel more… to and from my bedroom
I will learn how to play the triangle
I will stop calling bitches dumb whores. LIKE TED’S DUMB WHORE WIFE
I will read a book
I will lie about reading a book
I will stop drinking R.C cola cause it’s not 1979 anymore
Liquid lead
Liquid lead
I will not burn any churches down…..however Churches chicken might get it
I will stop crying when I watch the movie Click
I will stop using bed sheets as toilet paper
I will stop calling the suicide hotline for tips
I will learn all of the lyrics to Stupid Hoe
I will get ebola this year
I will stop retweeting ISIS
I will stop breaking people’s windows…..besides Ted’s
I will stop bringing real guns to play laser tag
I will give money to a homeless person
I will steal money from a homeless person
I will become the crazy cat lady in my town
I will change my name to Tom Hanks so people can give me Oscars
I will stop giving out used gum as gifts
I will start muti-tasking. Like I can save time if I take my naps while I’m driving
I will go a date with a real person
I will sell all of my nukes
I will use my Myspace more
I will stop cheating at Battleship
I will stop wishing people a happy “life” day like an asshole
I will learn when to use then and than
I will be better then you
I will find Waldo
I will K.O Muhammad Ali. Or Will Smith. Whoever I see first
I will stop bowling with footballs
I will stop making mix tapes
I will try to start a zombie apocalypse
I will run more……ok power walk……..never mind
I will stop poking my Facebook friends in real life
I will look for a cure for cancer. I’m sure it’s under my sofa
I will write a poem. By write I mean steal
I will stop assuming that all hockey players are gay
I will beat Paperboy 2
I will stop lying about people dying (R.I.P FAT JOE!)
I will try hard not to hate Ben Affleck as Batman
I will stop calling the fire department every time I get hot
I will get a Lionel Richie tattoo
I will stop making snowballs with sugar
I will eat more healthy……Pumpkin pie is good for you right?
I will make a list of resolutions. (Hey! CHECK!)